Assalammualaikum. Hi.
So. For the past few weeks, I've been trying to change my way of writing. Hiding the inner feelings by capturing the beauty of my daily life ONLY! Yes, they are all true stories, but I'm writing them halfheartedly.
In less than 48 hours, 2014 will shut its door and new door will open in 2015. I wish for there are opportunities for me to achieve more in life and hereafter. To recap, 2014 has been a wonderful year for me.
Main highlight for the year is the arrival of Aisha Amani on 9th September. Subhanallah. Her arrival into this world is indescribable, it is beyond everything. Experiencing for the second time of the long hours of agonizing pain and the anxiety, it felt like I was dying.
But the moment she was put on my chest, it brought back my mind to the day Irfan was put on my chest. They looked exactly the same! And the next second, tears gushed out. Another child of ours was born. Yes, they were tears of happiness. Sounds cliche, but it was reality.
Alhamdulillah. She is healthy, active and her growing development is by far a step sooner than average baby {according to the Baby's First Year book}. Don't get too worried new mommies, babies are different, they are a step ahead or a step backward differently.
For now, I don't put too much hope on her to be the guardian angel of Irfan. She definitely will have her own life, her journey will be different. She is born in the gen-alpha baby, the way she thinks and what she wants in her life will be different.
But there is always one thing that I want from her. I just want her to have a heart for her brother, loving him as much as we love him or even more. I want her to wake up every morning with a smile, quickly run to her brother and kiss him lovingly, hug him gently and play with him patiently.
As for Irfan, he is slowly growing, but he is progressing. He has taught us so much about patience {sabr}, love and because of him al-Quran and its translation has become one of our best friends. He loves to hear the recitation of al-Quran, he will stare at the beautiful calligraphy of al-Quran until I end my recitation. Truthfully, the feeling is beyond happiness. I can see and experience myself how a children from heaven responds to al-Quran. Subhanallah!
Yes. There are times when my patience is tested up to the level I myself can't think I can handle. Especially during his eating time. He refuses all kind of food or even milk. The time taken to feed him for breakfast, lunch and dinner sometimes takes almost an hour. And most of the time he will be crying, with some of it will be the loudest he can be. Because of that, we don't get comfortable to feed him in front of people, otherwise they will become the loyal audience and judging us of being abusive to our own son. Sigh!
Second thing that he hates most and with no doubt will bring about his screaming is when we put him down and run somewhere around the house to get things. Because, he just don't like to lie down and he always wanted to be held, carried or sit with someone. So, there goes our patience being tested.
Therefore, taking care of him is not as easy as saying it or reading it through others’ experience or doctors’ advise. We really need others to understand and at least have a heart for him. He needs to be fed on time, drink on time and sleep on time. Without proper time management, his tantrum will greet us with no mercy.
That is always the main reason why we usually don't have a lunch meeting with friends outside, will not able to attend wedding invitations according to the time stipulated and such. Because we have to ensure his needs are catered first! Alhamdulillah, after 2 years, we are now the expert of managing our time, and we have become more mobile than a year before.
Anyway, my 365 days of life in 2014 will not be as wonderful, complex and full of excitement without my husband by my side. I can't thank you enough sayang. What you have done throughout the year is beyond patience, love, care and one I can't live without is your endless support. I know I've been telling this billion times, but I want to tell you again today that I'm so lucky to have you in my life, thank you for being here by my side through hard times and good times. I love you!
To my family especially, my mom & dad, I can't thank you enough. I am so thankful for having you as my parents. For everything you have done is again, beyond everything. I love you and I am sorry for not being a perfect daughter for you. I love you too!
To friends, {you know who you are}, thank you for your understanding, your support and love. I'm sorry for everything or anything I've done wrong, it's either I realized it or not. Thank you for a great year we had together in 2014.
So, I'm about to end my long post in 2014 and saying hello to 2015.
Bring it on!!
