Assalammualaikum.
2015 kini dah menyapa. It has been 26 years I'm breathing freely. But I don't feel I'm getting enough of knowledge, of experience and of everything!
Naaa.. Here comes my philosophy mood..
To be honest, I don't feel at peace yesterday. And so, I ask for a friend's help yesterday. Entah kenapa. tapi dia dah jadi my heart advisor sejak sekolah lagi. Ya Allah, I'm so thankful to have her as a friend. Susah nak dapat seorang yang macam ni tau.
To cut everything short, I would say that yesterday's conversation is about heart. Hati yang suci, which at this second, I don't think I have one. Definisi hati yang suci yang paling sesuai untuk saya ialah antaranya redha dan bersyukur.
I honestly admit that there are times when I look at someone's life, I was like 'Oh, seronoknya jadi macam dia.. Kalaulah....' Astaghfirullahalazim. I am guilty and I have sinned. Sebab bila saya dah 'kalau', maka saya tak redha dan bersyukur!
And so, I repent for the things that I've done wrong. Betapa kerdilnya hamba Allah ni, terlalu menimbun dosa sehingga terasa diri ini tak layak ke syurga-Nya. Lantas hati ini bernekad untuk melangkah ke proses penyucian hati. Subhanallah. Walau hanya dengan niat, ia merubah segala.
In shaa Allah, if Allah wills it. I want to be a better person, a better wife, a better mom, a better child, a better friend and a better muslim. What I have said or done yesterday, or a day before yesterday, or last month, last 3 months, last year, or last 3 years, that have hurt someone's feelings, I am sorry. Today is a new day for me. And I will get things right. Slowly but surely. In shaa Allah.
She gave me this yesterday. And alhamdulillah, I think I'm getting better. Thank you..
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